From “The Connection,” Jersey Village Baptist Church, Houston, Texas http://www.xanga.com/jvbc

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II

US Ranked 4th 

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II. 

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.” 

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories–Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.” 

German Chancellor Adolph Hitler said “Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany’s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.” 

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented “France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.” 

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

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About LS

I'm 56, happily married for 25 years, B.A., M.A., career educator with experience in education as a teacher and administrator, native Arizonan living in Pennsylvania, working on a PhD and a big fan of the Arizona Wildcats, mainly in football and basketball.

4 responses

  1. Lee says:

    I just couldn’t resist posting this after I saw it. It is actually a pretty good analogy for what has happened in the BCS. Florida and the SEC are the media darlings, which explains how they made it in even though their loss was to an unranked team, and how they finished ahead of USC, Texas and Texas Tech, whose lone losses were to much higher ranked teams. The SEC sort of looked like a deflated balloon at the end of the year, with a string of losses to ACC teams.

    Well, my team, Arizona, won their bowl game. Yeah, go figure. The Pac-10 wasn’t supposed to be much this season, but the Wildcats, who finished fifth behind USC, Oregon, Oregon State and Cal (who beat Cal and gave the other three fits in close games) shredded a ranked BYU team in the Las Vegas Bowl. Here’s betting the Pac-10 goes 5-0 in bowls.

  2. Ted E says:

    Lee, you have entirely too much free time! Too funny!